Today I was thinking of my dog LuckyHappy, who is no longer with us. I cried buckets when he died, but after writing about him I felt great peace, as though his life was not in vain. One night, I dreamt he was sleeping with us. Usually our small askal Winnichurchill sleeps on our bed, but in my dream there were two dogs. The other was LuckyHap.
Here's my piece:
Don’t Ever Think You Are in Control
By Mona Sabalones-Gonzalez
“But the fruit of the Spirit is….self control. Against these things there is no law.”
If you think you have got a handle on life, you are only fooling yourself-you are never in control.
We can ‘t control it if we happen to fall in love with the wrong person. We aren’t in control if we love a person who doesn’t love us back, or if we love someone who just doesn’t know how to love. We may own the company, but we don’t control the office. Not really, never fully. And when I believed I was in control of my dogs because they were MY dogs, I was very, very wrong.
I thought I had it all planned. I would not let him die slowly, the way my mother did. One day I brought him to the vet because he seemed matamlay (weak). He was given a suppository (because he could not poo or pee), an antibiotic injection, and some vitamins. His ears were cleaned and his nails, cut. But the vet told me Lucky wouldn’t live very long-and although it wasn’t the vet's policy, he was willing to give the dog, in due time, an injection-so LuckyHappy would feel no pain.
Lucky did not get better after a day or two, so I called the vet and made the appointment. To my surprise, when I got home my dog had rallied. I told the maid that I had actually planned to inject him, and my maid, shocked, said “NO!” Forcefully, she told me I must only do it when he is really ready to die-not too soon.
Both my maids, you see, treated LuckyHappy as their dog. He was the guard dog and he always stayed outside, usually in front of their door. (The maids' home is adjacent to ours, but further back). So they considered the Spitz to be theirs, and the askals, ours.
I noticed after that, that the maids would constantly tell me, "Lucky is walking," or "Lucky is eating." When Lucky seemed to be ill, they would hide him from me; and that was the first time I realized that I was not even in control of my own dog. Not with my maids there to protect him from me.
The other day Lucky walked up to me, and I petted him. As usual my two askals who are younger and stronger got in the way, but I still petted Lucky and only stopped when I realized the askals would bother him if I kept it up. Being dogs, they would often playfully jump on each other, but when one landed on Lucky’s head, I saw him visibly wince in pain.
Today at work my husband called me to say LuckyHappy had died. I was surprised. That morning as I left for work, LuckyHappy was lying flat on the ground as he usually did, but his face was in the direction of the car (usually he faced the other way). We looked straight at one another’s eyes, and I thought to myself that he is a very beautiful dog, indeed. In retrospect, I wonder if that was his goodbye.
So I never really had him, and I was never in control. But I think God gave me Lucky to teach me lessons I would need to take with me on the third quarter of my life. This is the time when we have to start getting used to saying goodbye, and we must release people – our children to adulthood, our elders to heaven.
Dogs are here to teach us so many things. Finally, I realized now why it is that no one is ever fully in control, even though there are many people who give a really good front and who can be so convincing, that you think that they are. The truth is, they simply have not got the power. We don’t have the power. Only God has the power. Only God is in control.
Considering all that, it doesn’t hurt to put your life into the hands and under the control of the one who holds the power, really calls the shots, and loves you more than you love your dog, because when you surrender, that’s when you really are in control.
The Bible says that in surrendering you get the gifts of the Spirit. Galatians says, “ The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Allow me to paraphrase the last part - "Against such things, there is no law."
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